Self-awareness continued & self-esteem (:

Self-awareness continued & self-esteem (:


Wow wow wow. Self-esteem is indeed a really sensitive topic to me, kept me thinking for quite some time. However, I just keep marching my legs up and down, but always at the same ground at the same place. What do I mean by that? Well, I may know my flaunts and my talents, but what I seriously lack is self-esteem ): That ain't good, but I'm trying to improve on it already! My main lack in self-esteem is in my appearence. Yes yes, my appearence. I think I totally suck in my appearance. But before going into my personal account, do let me try to define self-esteem in my own terms.


Self-esteem is to have confidence in oneself, and it is related to self-awareness. By knowing yourself better helps to build up confidence within one, enables one to think positively about oneself and not easily being put down by people with bad intention. When one is confident in the things that he or she does, he/she will not be stumpled when crisis or problems arise. Instead, he/she will be strong enough to move on and overcome the obstacle. This is vice versa for someone whom has low self-esteem. He/she with low self-esteem tend to find fault with oneself all the time, putting the blame on oneself and feels that he is the cause of all the problems. Yes, low self-esteem tend to lead to disasters in every area, be it workplace or studies. Without confidence, you lose determination and perserverance, and you lack of courage to move on, finding yourself only back to square one. Someone with low self-esteem tend to run away from problems and think that running away is solving the problem. I can firmly say that, running away worsens the situation and is only delaying the problem which may become even serious in time.


Okay, back to me. I do not run away from problems and such, but I lack of self-esteem in terms of one area, my appearance. Apparantly, I do not feel good about my appearance, I just feel that I should have more- better figure, better face, better complexion, better legs and bla bla bla. I'm sad to say, this has affected me in many ways or so. I apply makeup because I lack of confidence in my appearance. Even though many have told me that "natural beauty is still the best, putting makeup looks fake", but I feel more confident when I apply makeup. Hence, I didn't run away from the problem, instead, I seek another alternative solution to my low self-esteem in my appearance. Well, if you may ask, what makes me feel so insecure about my looks? Actually, I don't really know the real reason behind it. I just love to envy other girls whom are pretty, hence close friends of mine find me looking at pretty girls more than looking at handsome dudes. Haha. I just feel that these girls are really lucky to be born with such a beautiful face & figure, and the envy just never stops. Even if I get praises from people close around me(be it boyfriend/friends/family) , I just feel insecure about myself. I don't have the confidence.


However, I make an effort to improve it. I'm going to be joining 2 sports CCAs, which means I'll be exercising for 3days per week. This can certainly help to cut down my fats. I usually skip meals in the past but I realised that it is not practical because I end up in gastric pains, hence, I eat in small portions. I usually eat only breakfast and lunch, research shows that dinner is the best choice for you to leave out if you're going on a diet (:


Oh well, I only can say, I'm putting effort in my appearance, but it just never seems enough? Perhaps I really do have self-esteem, but every girl wants to be pretty and slim and sexy, who doesn't? I probably should start to learn how to be satisfied.. Oh well.. (:


Hey, but I do know that appearance doesn't mean everything. What does a pretty face means if one has bad character, am I right? xD Well, five years from now, I probably will laugh at this post and find myself childish. A very playful me may become a much more matured and demure lady, who knows :p Haha! But definitely, my goals have never changed ever since Secondary School. I want to get my Masters in Banking & Financial Service, and become a private banker in future (: This is my ambition indeed, and I will work hard for it. Looks do not mean everything I do know this, that is why I wil continue to study hard and strive for my goals (:


Good luck for all of you too! (:

Self-awareness (:

Self-awareness (:


Through this week's topic on self-awareness, it certainly keep me thinking till the time I blogged this out. Out of the 365 days of the year, I doubt there was never once I ever took out the time to think about myself, think about what are some of the bad areas of my character that I need to improve on, what are some of the good areas of my character that I need to keep up (: I'm glad this Life Management Skill tutorial gave all of us the chance to! I'm sure everyone else in the T17 group are also soooo packed with the different sorts of activities in their own lives that no one really learn to appreciate oneself.


Self-awareness is to know about myself, to know about the positive and negative character within me. It is important to learn self-awareness, as it helps to improve on our attitude and values. One should think and know about the goods and bads of oneself, and it is important to be open-minded to other people's opinions. From time to time, ask for opinions from others, seek their advises on the areas they find that you should improve on. Do not bear grudges and think that he or she is going against you, why not look at the other side of the whole picture? She or he is trying to help you to improve on your character (:


For me, I always keep an open mind about other people's opinions of me. No one in this world is perfect, even though everyone desires to be one. I have my own flaunts too. However, when you have self-awareness, you know what is and what is not of yourself. What do I mean by that, you may ask? Well, in my personal account, I have met one situation recently when my so-called "Friends" talked bad behind my back to my 2 other true friends, but I know that what they said were untrue, because I know my own flaunts and what they said were definitely not true. Indeed, when it came to questioning of why they say so, they apologized for they know they had spoken ill of me, and not spoken the truth of me. You see, when you're confident of yourself and you know yourself better, you know when it is right and when it is wrong. You will know when you've done wrong and when you've done right. Therefore, it is important to know yourself, spend some time thinking of yourself and areas in which you need to improve. In the past, I used to say alot of vulgarities when engaging in normal conversations with my friends. However, my friends have advised me that it is really ugly for a girl to say so much vulgarities, and I accept it as my flaunt and did not rebutt and say "Where got?!" This is because I am aware of my this bad habit in the past, yet it never really matter much until my friends brought it up to me. So, it is important to know yourself, but also listen to other people's advises. Of course, seek advices from people you interact practically everyday with- your classmates, your true friends and your family. These people whom you interact everyday will have stronger bonding, and will be more mature to voice out each other's opinions. This is what me and my close friends do. We talk about each other and tell each other what she should improve on. I talk to my family too, and since I've a really strong bonding with my family members, they tell me my flaunts from time to time and encourages me to change.


Self-awareness is really very important. It helps in improving one's character. Stop to take notice of oneself, before you take notice of others. For you may find that you have realised much more about yourself instead of the others (: