Managing Conflict (:

Conflict is unavoidable in different aspects of life. It really depends on how we handle these conflicts occurring around us. Conflicts can be verbally or physically; and there are so many different types of conflicts. There can be social conflicts, relationship conflicts, data conflicts, interest-based conflicts, structural conflicts or value-based conflicts. However, I've learnt that there are constructive outcomes of all these conflicts that occur around me some of the times.



Conflicts improves self-awareness.
I have conflicts with my family and my friends. But through these conflicts, I've learnt more about myself and also others. Conflicts occur out of certain reasons, and thus, because of this, I learnt what my friends dislike. For example, one of my close friends doesn't like people to tap her shoulder, even if it's someone she's close with; as long as someone touches her shoulder, she will flare up. Another of my close friends, doesn't like people to make fun of her, even if it is just a friendly joke, she will also get angry and quarrel with us. I accept these dislikes of them, because I believe everyone has their own preferences. And it is very important to know them so as to prevent conflicts from occurring amongst friends. As for my family, I clearly know what they dislike me to do. My parents dislike me from coming home late, and dislike untidiness. Yes, we can even quarrel over not vacuuming the floor for only ONE DAY(my family vacuum and mop the floor EVERYDAY, no joke) So by doing what they dislike, it will help to lessen the amount of quarrels we have!

Conflicts can strengthen relationships.
After quarrelling with someone, there's two possible outcomes that will result. One is that the relationship will improve, or two, the relationship will deprove. It is normal to get into a "cold war" with the opposite party after a quarrel, afterall it's a big misunderstanding. Relationship will worsen if none of the party takes the initiative to apologise and make things up. This will only result in a breakdown of communication and thus, never talk to each other again. This has happened to me a several times. I've lost close friends(and I really mean, CLOSE ones) because of major misunderstandings and quarrels, which we both parties don't wish to talk to each other anymore. Thinking back, even though I've apologised for my wrongs, but since I'm the party at fault, I didn't make the move to talk to them again, resulting in us never talking up till now. It sounds childish, but it really does happen in real life. Sometimes, some things really need initiatives to be taken! However, on the other hand, there are really close friends whom I quarrelled with seriously in the past. In fact, our friendships have improved so much in comparison to the past! That is because, both parties admit their faults in the quarrel, and used a mature way to handle the quarrel. We made things up on our own initiatives, and our friendships stay strong (:

Conflict promotes group cohesion.
In a group, conflicts always occur because of the different thinkings and mindsets of the group members. People have different opinions on different aspects, hence it is not surprising to disagree on other people's point of view in a group. However, when conflicts occur in a group, it will in turn promote group cohesion as group members are more sensitive of other group members' thoughts and feelings. Usually conflicts occurred in a group are mainly due to disagreements on ideas or discontentment with a certain group member. However, if one changes his/her attitude for the better, the group can work even better together. I've experienced working with someone in a group whom is too straightforward in his words and no thinking of other peoples' feelings. Hence, we got into a short disagreement, afterwhich his attitude changed and everything's back to normal (: It is better to make known to the other party his/her mistakes so as to allow her to change for the better, which will also be better for the group discussions. As a group, it means that every member in it is important and essential, thus it is important that every member agrees to any decision made or suggested. No one should be neglected or left out to prevent conflicts!

Conflict promotes creativity and problem solving.
As I've said earlier on, different people have different thinkings. Hence when in a group, it is normal to find people disagreeing on other peoples' suggestions or opinions. However, conflict promotes creativity as every member raises out his/her idea in the project, hence everyone makes the effort to bring the group together and excel in the project work. In the process of doing so, creativity is shown as each do their own part and crack their brains to brainstorm for better solutions for every problem faced!

Conflict can be fun and motivating.
Serious conflicts may result in sadness and disappointment, however, if one uses a positive attitude to face the conflict occurring, it can be fun and motivating! Why do I say so? Well, simply because I think back on the conflicts I used to have with my loved ones and my friends around me, I realise that these conflicts shouldn't even occur in the first place! It is childish and immature as the problem that resulted in the conflict can be resolved so much easier. Actually, conflicts can make us realise even more facts, and in the process, we learn something out of the conflicts.

Actually, conflicts are part and parcel of our lives. It really depends on how we face them and how we go about resolving them. Are we to avoid these conflicts and let a large hole stand between both parties? Or are we to take a step back, and think carefully and maturely before deciding what to do about it? Of course it is the latter. (: